fifty shades of explicit reason...

I actually saw the movie [1]Fifty Shades of Grey in theaters during its opening week and was overall satisfied with my general expectations after reading the books by EL James.

I was so excited to see this film that I even purchased advanced tickets which I never do for any movie so this was a huge deal and well worth it.

Though the casting of Ana and Christian was a bit odd at first, I like, most of the fans got used to the idea of Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan playing the roles of our leading characters. As a former Seattle resident, the area shots made me a tidbit homesick as I was reminded of why I initially want to escape there in my early twenties.

Now I could go on and on about how what if Ana was Black or Latina or Asian and became pregnant by Christian and he didn’t put a ring on it yet that isn’t what the books or the film is about. Overall I wasn’t disappointed by the screen adaptation, again because I read the books and was well aware of what type of film this was supposed to be…adult, kinky, sexy, witty, seductive, climatic and to bring specific types of sexual play to the forefront such as submissive/Dominant, master and slave and bondage. For those who are in these type of sub cultures or communities, those topic aren’t new but where have we seen this before and how and why in the hell would it be compared to abusive behavior???

There are a lot of levels to the ignorance of sexuality and who is allowed to do what with whom and when is it legal and when is it abuse. Who are the ones protesting and complaining simply because a film or a book or a song or a certain type of art work shows human diversity in regards to sex??? Are these really old folks who consider themselves traditional and staples of morality??? Are these men who don’t get pussy so they are angry at all women and are potential rapist or child molesters or are these women who have allowed themselves to be victims of married men and use their “beauty” as a means of financial stability yet have never had a satisfying relationship with anyone including a natural father-daughter bond???

With all those questions, is it really that deep??? I mean Ana is a submissive, her look is plain and even “ugly” to some standards of beauty (as I personally don’t find her to be an attractive female per my taste, my preference), she is not sexually experienced and generally considered a boring type who finds solace in Literary books and her basic type work (a clerk at a hardware store) who by chance happens to meet this dashing man by the name of Christian who exposes her to all sorts of SEX…that’s it. She and Christian shared an intense physical relationship as it was mutual and legal. Ana is not a prostitute nor is she a hoe however she may be labeled a jump-off cause that basically what that type of relationship is in modern types…commitment without commitment meaning the female is submissive and committee to the male while he still has the “freedom” to explore and live his “single” life, yes, that is what that means ladies and gents. So is it deep and when it’s over why can’t it just be over regardless of who said stop or timeout first??? Ana and Christian are not married and they have no children however this type of domestic situation isn’t unusual for any one group of people, keep it all the way real so are we going to be bringing religious beliefs into the equation??? If so, Ana is a whore and Christian is just being a man according to definition of sins.

The facts are: Christian did not rape Ana. Ana is not a minor. Christian and Anna are both adults and willingly engage in sexual play and full intercourse on numerous occasions without being drunk or high on drugs. Christian invited Ana to his home and Ana accepted to go. She accepted the car, the clothes and the laptop plus the dinner dates and the flights and everything that she was offered including dick. Ana allowed Christian to fuck her on numerous occasions without a clear understanding of their “relationship” and she did so without signing the written contract even after her and Christian made several addendums (please insert a smirk here, thx). And she still graduated…that’s a big one. Those are the facts. Now, it’s questionable if she was a virgin but only Ana and Christian would know that and maybe EL James because I never had any contact with her.

This is why those groups out there protesting should shut their face!!! If they want to protest a movie for depicting violence against women let’s start with [2]The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. Again, I actually saw this film in the theaters and was very shocked and traumatized at the “rape scene” as a survivor of [sexual] abuse (which I have spoke out on before) and just as a human…I did not want to see that type of shit on a big scene…it was just gross….ewwwwww. Yes, I'm 35 and I still say "ewwwwww".

Like I said, as a female survivor who still enjoys engaging in sexual play , there are certain topics that I may feel some type of way about however I don’t project onto everyone and everything and I have clear distinctions of what is and what isn’t [sexual]abuse and Fifty Shades of Grey does not depict abuse. Now there may be some level of disrespect and overstepping set boundaries that was not addressed by Ana but nothing to warrant activist groups to protest. The film may or may not start a revolution about what it means to be a girlfriend, a submissive or to engage in pre-marital sex without being a parent but it is an eye-opening film that focuses on personal enjoyment and finding a mate that is compatible and just as freaky as you and who will accept all those “weirdo” intricacies that make you something worth it all. With all of that opinion…go see the movie and develop your own opinion about it.


References
[1] Fifty Shades of Grey
[2] The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

equality, diversity and justice: a word for women's equality day 2014

Reflecting back when Easy Bake Ovens, My Little Pony and Barbie were what girls were made of
Occupations like nurses, maids and secretaries were the only alternatives for being housewives and mothers and then feminism gave birth to votes and working women with 9 to 5 jobs just like the boys in blue collar suits…

Women’s Equality Day is not about “being a woman” it’s about equality, diversity and [social] justice. 8 years, 4 months and 3 days before I was born, congress member Bella Abzug dubbed the date Women’s Equality Day to commemorate the 1920 passage of the 19th amendment to the U.S. constitution granting women the right to vote. That was on August 26th 1971. It has been 43 years of celebrating equality and today in 2014 we continue to appreciate and cultivate progress for this struggle for women’s rights dating back to 1848.

Today as we’re gathered here in San Francisco basking in unity and peace, look around and witness our equality. The white and black, red and brown, yellow, tan and orange. A melting pot of homemade multicultural-ness and diversity. Today, we share this anniversary with our sisters and brothers in spirit. Regardless of age, sexual orientation, gender identification, wealth, health, education, political affiliation or choice of occupation, today at this very moment, we are simply equal.

As humans but specifically as women, we deserve to be seen and heard for our contributions to society, our global community. I speak now of our sister Marissa Alexander in Florida. Where is her equality? Where is her justice? Marissa is a working mother who fired a warning shot at the ceiling to protect herself from being brutally attacked by her ex domestic partner. As a result Marissa was jailed and is facing a 60 year prison sentence per Florida State law. The Stand Your Ground Law did not work in her favor as it did George Zimmerman who shot and killed 17 year old Trayvon Martin.

I’m outraged by this and I don’t even know Marissa personally however her case and the specific details of her charges just serves as a reminder that this struggle for equality especially within our judicial system is far from over…for any of us. If you are not familiar with the Marissa Alexander’s case, I urge you to look it up, logon to defendwomensrights.org and join the fight for justice. Thank you!



“Equality, Diversity & Justice: A Word for Women’s Equality Day” written
by Kesha Johnson-Clark © 2014
Kesha is a W.O.R.D organizer with the San Francisco, California chapter

ugly is the new pretty...

Observing. Is ugly the new pretty?

When you look in the mirror, what do you see? Do you zoom in on those little imperfections or do you recognize your key features? Like the scar on your check or a crooked front tooth, maybe it’s your full lips or long graceful neck that triggers the self-esteem meter in regards to being pretty. For many women, our outer physical image and attractive-ness is just as important as proper etiquette, culturally. How others view us, whether we like to admit it or not, has a lot to do with how we judge ourselves. Atleast until we reach a certain point of self-actualization and happiness.

Ask yourself this, how do you define ugly? Is it a skin tone or a body type? Is it the texture of hair or speech pattern? Is it a lack of education or parenting skill or is it the amount of money you spend on beauty products? Research indicates that we spend 7.5 billion[1] annually on make-up, scrubs, moisturizes, facials, implants, wigs and weaves, etc so we all desire to look pretty but what does it really mean? I ask this to those who have not developed a secure sense of self, their own identity as a productive working professional contributing to our society.

Being attractive to others may not be about what your face or body looks like but more of the beauty you project to the public. A positive attitude vs a grouchy sour puss for no logical reason, consistent healthy habits vs destructive patterns, establishing yourself and continuing education (on any level) vs having no substance, and most importantly, being spiritually connected vs lacking morals and self-respect. With all of that on the table, something has little to do with the style of your hair, the cost of your outfits, the way you talk, your choice of transportation or the neighborhood you reside in.

Now, this maybe a lone opinion of mine but instead of calling each other bitches, hoes and blaming the jump-offs for failed relationships, I would rather say, hello and tell you that I admire your accomplishment on your certificate, diploma or degree, your own business, your wedding anniversary, your child birth, you learning a new skill or new job or simply completing a personal goal. Ugly has more to do with negative and disrespect. With that in perspective, don’t be ugly. Pretty please enjoy your day.



References
[1] Black Folks, Consumerism and the Beauty Industry by Linda Harding-Bond